Ace of Spades

“Even though I know I shouldn’t care, it annoys me that when girls know what they want and how they’re going to get it, they’re seen as cocky. But guys who know what they want? They’re confident or strong.”

While Chiamaka Adebayo has grown up with wealth, she has always had to deal with her own specific Intersections of Identity. Being Black and a girl, she experiences both racism and sexism and notices the differences in the ways that boys and girls are treated. She is frustrated that her confidence and success are seen as cockiness rather than the byproduct of all her hard work and ambition.

“Perhaps if hierarchies weren’t so important and people weren’t constantly trying to take me down, maybe I’d be more trusting of people, and Ava and I would be more than just two girls using each other to survive high school.”

Chiamaka sees all of her friendships at Niveus as transactional. Although she likes Ava and finds her fun to be around, she distrusts her and sees her both as competition and as a tool to climb the social hierarchies of their school. Her straightforward pragmatism in this regard represents her attempts to work within a prejudiced system and force it to work in her favor despite the many social injustices that she endures.

“But when I’m here, sitting in the dark, shaking as that night replays over and over, her face a permanent bloodstain, I remember that the person I play at school isn’t me, not in the slightest. The Chi who turns up at Niveus every day might not be afraid to hurt people’s feelings, to do things to get what she wants. But she’d never do the things I’ve done.”

Chiamaka is haunted by the events of Jamie’s (staged) hit-and-run car accident and reflects that the person she is at school does not reflect her true self. She believes that although the person she is at school is a good person who deserves good things in her life, her real self is a “monster.”

“Here, they whisper about you. In our area […] If they see or even hear about the picture, and Jack’s seen with me, they could do things to him and his younger brothers, as well as me. It wouldn’t be the first time Jack has suffered because of my bullies. I just hope they don’t know about the picture already.”

Devon experiences his own specific Intersections of Identity, as a Black student and a gay teenager. His sexuality is a secret because it puts him and those associated with him in physical danger in his neighborhood. While anti-gay prejudice affects him at Niveus through rumor and social ostracization, it also exposes him more directly to violence near his home.

“The shopkeeper looks at me and points again. “I’m tired of you people thinking you can get away with this shit. Don’t come back here, you hear me?”

Chiamaka experiences a direct example of Anti-Black Racism when the shopkeeper at the candy store accuses her of stealing. He makes the broad claim that all Black people are thieves and criminals and accuses Chiamaka based on his racist views without bothering to discern the truth of the situation objectively. She is innocent of any wrongdoing, and as it turns out, has been set up by members of Aces who are trying to frame her as a thief.

“In this home of worn leather sofas, tabletops with cracked edges, mismatched chairs, and exposed pipes, there is so much love.

Even if that love is for a version of me that isn’t real.”

In this wistful quote, Devon expresses his awareness of the authentic love that his mother has for him but worries that she does not know the real version of him, because she does not know he is gay. He is afraid that if she finds out the truth about his sexual orientation, she will not love him anymore.

“I learned a long time ago that the key is to make others think you know you’re the best. But what happens when the cracks start to show? When those around you don’t always believe what you feed them? And how can they, when you don’t even believe it, not fully.”

Chiamaka does not want people to see the real her, so she only lets others see a carefully cultivated version of herself. Though she wants Jamie Fitzjohn to see her as a romantic partner, she worries that there are cracks in her perfect facade, and that the people around her will not like her if she is not perfect.

“But being talked about is one thing, and being mocked is another. I hate being mocked, it reminds me of middle school: being the girl everyone liked to look down on, poke at—never the girl people wanted to be friends with.”

Chiamaka has spent much of her life trying to overcome Anti-Black Racism at school so that she can become successful and reach the top of her class. Being mocked is something that reminds her of a time when she had no social capital and when people looked down on her because she was different.

“Our school lies between two worlds: the side of town where the rich people live, and then our side, where people can’t afford food or health care.”

Devon is caught between two worlds: his world at school, where everyone is rich, and his world at home, where the people around him experience a kind of poverty that his classmates cannot imagine. Caught between these two social realities, he experiences frequent cognitive dissonance and must navigate different versions of himself no matter where he happens to be.

“I dream about Pa coming home someday. We go out for pizza and he just tells me a bunch of life lessons. We catch up on missed time. I imagine talking to him about Aces, this anonymous bully who hates me for no reason, and he’ll know the answers because that’s what dads are for.”

Devon spends much of his childhood missing his father, who is in prison; Devon does not yet know that his father has been dead for seven years. He imagines what advice his father would give him and believes that he would know what to do about Aces. Thus, even in the midst of this difficult coming-of-age tale, Devon still holds onto aspects of a childhood faith that his parents know what is best and will be able to provide answers to help solve impossible situations. Ultimately, Devon will have to “parent” himself as he bands together with newfound friends to combat the injustice that surrounds him.

“My family doesn’t have any of this, though. No legacy here in America. If our secret comes to light, I have no way out. Everything is at stake, and while Jamie might appear calm on the outside, he must know that he could be next on Aces’s list of victims.”

Although Chiamaka’s family is wealthy, she is still an outsider at Niveus because, in addition to being Black, her parents are not American. She can never be a legacy student like Jamie, who has generational ties to privilege and protection. This quotation reflects just how much understanding she still lacks about the true nature of the threats against her, for in this moment, she still assumes that the Aces texts have nothing whatsoever to do with racism. Thus, the quote also stands as an example of situational irony, for it sets readers up to expect that Jamie might become a victim of Aces, when in reality, he is one of its primary perpetrators.

“I don’t want her thinking I dislike my hair or anything else that resembles her, because I don’t.

I don’t.

I look away from her, my curls brushing against my face, reminding me that they are there—forever and always, whether I like it or not. Which I do. I do like it.

I force a smile.”

Chiamaka struggles to accept herself as she is; this struggle is compounded by her feelings about her mother. She does not want her mother to think that she is ashamed of her hair, and by extension, ashamed of being Black. However, the awkward nature of the repeated, “I do. I do like it,” implies several simultaneously conflicting emotions. Although Chiamaka genuinely does like her natural attributes, she also feels othered by them and struggles with a sense of reluctance to present herself to the world in a more natural fashion. Instead, she feels compelled to straighten her hair in order to conform to the unfairly limited beauty ideals of white society.

“It makes me wonder if my resemblance to my mother has anything to do with this—with Aces. Whether Devon and his Blackness and myself and mine are the reason this creep is picking on us. I feel sick at the thought of it.”

Despite being very aware that her identity as a Black girl forces her to face struggles that her white peers do not, Chiamaka is still hesitant to believe that Aces is targeting her and Devon because they are Black. She has never experienced violent Anti-Black Racism and does not want to entertain the idea that this could be what is happening.

“I hadn’t given it proper thought before, but now I can’t stop thinking about it: the fact that Terrell seems to be open about his sexuality and so casual about it. It’s not something you can be casual about around here.”

As Devon learns more about Terrell Rosario, he is surprised to learn that Terrell does not hide his sexuality. Devon has never considered that being open about his sexuality is possible for him. Thus, Àbíké-Íyímídé uses this aspect of Devon’s struggles to indicate that the protagonists’ identity issues are multi-faceted.

“But racism isn’t just about that—it’s not about being nice or mean. Or good versus bad. It’s bigger than that. We’re all in this bubble being affected by the past. The moment they decided they got to be white and have all the power and we got to be Black and be at the bottom, everything changed.”

Terrell’s insight into the way that Anti-Black Racism works is something of a revelation for Devon. He has never considered the structural nature of racism and the way that white people hold power in society.

“Belle being nice to me could just be a symptom of wanting to strengthen this friendship that came out of nowhere. Or it could be something else, something that doesn’t fit into the odds. You can’t calculate emotion.”

Chiamaka realizes that her feelings for Belle Robinson are more complicated than her usual calculated relationships. She finds she cannot rationalize their relationship and lets herself develop a genuine emotional connection.

“I grew up in this world.

One where my hair was petted, tugged, laughed at, pointed out, banned in school rule books. And so I straightened it to comply, to ensure they didn’t probe me or touch me like I’m some pet.”

Chiamaka’s hair is one of her main sources of discomfort when it comes to navigating a world dominated mostly by white people. She tries to change her hair so that it is straight, to hide her differences and discourages her peers from treating her like an object of fascination rather than a person.

“The stories I was fed about working hard and being able to achieve anything […] That’s all they are, stories. Lies. Dangerous dreams.”

Devon has had to work exceptionally hard for much of his life just to get into a school that his peers were born knowing they would attend. When Aces systematically destroys many of Devon’s hopes and dreams of a brighter future, he begins to believe that he was naive for believing that his life could be different.

“I hate that these systems, all this institutional shit, can get to me. I hate how they have the power to kill my future, kill me. They treat my Black skin like a gun or a grenade or a knife that is dangerous and lethal, when really it’s them. The guys at the top powering everything.”

When dealing with the police officer, Devon is confronted by the racist systems of power at play in the world. He realizes that the danger he faces at Niveus from Aces is also present beyond the boundaries of his school, for even in the broader world, he is viewed as inherently dangerous just because he is Black.

“‘I work hard for everything I get. You’d still get in with affirmative action or whatever scholarship they give to you guys, while I have to work twice as hard.’ He shakes his head, wiping his eyes. ‘I didn’t ruin your life.’

He says this like he’s reciting some bigoted script that was fed to him.

Says it like he’s remembering lines he doesn’t quite get but believes in anyway.”

Jack’s response to Devon shows him leveraging his white privilege. He parrots a common script among white supremacists: that Black people do not work as hard as white people, and that when Black people succeed, it is because they are taking away opportunities from white people. Of course, this is not true, and Devon thinks that Jack knows it deep down. However, Jack is unable to extricate himself from this racist way of thinking.

“Now, I feel powerful because I’ve taken my voice back, stopped letting Jamie squash me into the image he has of me.

Of a weak girl he can push down and hurt without consequence.

That girl doesn’t exist. She never did.”

Chiamaka realizes that by trying to force herself to be someone whom Jamie might love, she was letting him control and manipulate her. When she finally stands up to Jamie, she feels like she is reclaiming her identity and her power.

“I’ve felt alone a lot in this world, filled with people and faces that don’t look like me. My parents always working. My friends all backstabbing actors. My relationships never real.

But right now, with Devon, I don’t feel alone at all.

Not one bit.”

For most of Chiamaka’s life, she has grown up isolated from authentic connection. Through her friendship with Devon, however, she discovers The Importance of Solidarity, for she now has a true friend who understands her experiences and assures her that she is not alone in the world.

“Dreaming is dangerous. But I allow myself to this time.

I think we deserve a happy ending.”

Devon has always seen dreaming as something dangerous that distracts from the reality of life. However, after the triumph of overcoming Niveus, he cannot help but dream of a better future for himself and Chiamaka, and accordingly, the Epilogue of the novel celebrates both protagonists’ success in building excellent lives for themselves despite their traumatic experiences at Niveus.