All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things

Fulghum reflects on the contrast between commercialized expressions of love, like store displays for Valentine’s Day, and the more genuine, heartfelt expressions that come from personal connections. He describes a treasured, homemade Valentine’s gift from his children—a decorated shoebox filled with childhood artifacts like macaroni and candy, which he calls the “gummy lump.” This simple gift symbolizes uncomplicated, sincere affection and holds immense sentimental value for Fulghum. Stored on a shelf in his closet, the gummy lump serves as a daily reminder of love, providing comfort and reassurance that surpasses any commercial item.

Fulghum introduces this essay with a note that talks about his hesitation about including it in the collection, particularly since Mother Teresa had passed away since its writing. He writes that he decided to include it because it speaks to a larger “inner conflict” that transcends the figure of Mother Teresa herself. In the essay proper, Fulghum explores his complex reactions to Mother Teresa. Despite his frustrations with her piety and the actions of her followers, Fulghum’s daily confrontations with her photograph at his workplace prompt reflections on her character and impact. Fulghum details the moment when Mother Teresa received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1980 and adds an account of the time he saw her speak at a conference, urging moral action. This introspection leads Fulghum to appreciate how Mother Teresa used her limited resources to make a substantial impact. Her example prompts him to consider the power of individual actions driven by commitment and love, ultimately finding inspiration in her life despite ideological differences.

Fulghum briefly documents the development of population tracking, from ancient Babylonian tablets to the Domesday Book and the modern US Census. He illustrates the exponential growth of human populations through startling images and comparisons of massiveness and large numbers. At the same time, however, he reflects that ever single human person has been different from everyone else. He introduces Emile Locard’s exchange principle, which suggests that everyone leaves a trace and takes something from every space they pass through. Extending this idea, Fulghum argues that our most significant contributions are the intangible ones, such as memories and impacts on others’ minds, concluding that these legacies are what truly matter.

Fulghum shares the story of P.M. Menon, a key figure in Indian history and independence, who rose to prominence not through elite education or connections, but through his integrity and skill. Menon’s commitment to personal charity stemmed from an experience in his youth when a stranger loaned him 15 rupees in a time of need, asking only that Menon repay the kindness to another stranger in need. This principle of paying it forward shaped Menon’s life and influenced others, including a man who later assisted Fulghum with a small but meaningful act at a Bombay airport. This man shares Menon’s story as he helps Fulghum, illustrating how acts of kindness can ripple through generations and across communities. In a concluding note, Fulghum acknowledges that the details of the story may not be entirely accurate, while insisting that its core values of generosity and compassion hold true.

Fulghum explores the flood of catalogs that arrive each autumn, sparking a conversation with his wife about a desire for experiences instead of material goods. The narrative shifts to Fulghum’s longing for a grandfather, as he never had a relationship with either of his own. Fulghum imagines having a wise, magical grandfather who would discuss the cosmos, emphasizing the awe of the universe and our connection to it. He fantasizes about stargazing sessions filled with deep conversations about celestial bodies and life’s possibilities beyond Earth. The essay combines nostalgia with a yearning for existential connections and understanding, highlighting people’s innate desire for guidance and wisdom from elder family members.

Fulghum discusses the blending of real and imagined characteristics in family narratives, using Picasso’s famous idea that “everything you can imagine is real” to explain how people create and believe in versions of relatives that align with their needs and desires. When he first wrote “Stargazing,” he didn’t have grandchildren; as of the writing of “Grandfather in Training,” he has seven. Fulghum reflects on his personal journey from imagining the kind of grandfather he wanted to be, to becoming one, showing how envisioning his role helped prepare him for its realities.

Fulghum celebrates the simple joys and small miracles in life through the eyes of his idealized grandfather, who revels in the victories of underdog high school football teams. This grandfather finds joy in witnessing the unexpected triumphs of ordinary people, whether it’s saving a glass from shattering or jump-starting a car with a dead battery. Fulghum uses these anecdotes to illustrate how minor success can uplift spirits. The essay emphasizes gratitude for life’s small victories and the importance of celebrating them as extraordinary gifts that defy the odds.

Fulghum imagines the life of Jesus’s maternal grandfather, a figure not mentioned in the Gospels. He portrays a typical evening where Mary’s father returns home to find his wife and daughter in distress, only to learn that Mary claims her pregnancy is the result of a divine act. Fulghum humorously depicts the man’s initial disbelief and distraction, and later, his reconciliation of a grandfather’s pride with the extraordinary nature of his grandson’s miracles and divine origin.

Fulghum shares a memory of a summer evening when a card game with neighborhood kids is interrupted by moths attracted to a lantern. As moths crash into the lantern, one child begins swatting them, sparking a debate about moths versus butterflies. Fulghum defends the moths but fails to change the children’s views that they are a nuisance. The next morning, a child examines a moth up close and appreciates its beauty, likening it to a teddy bear. The change in perspective illustrates the importance of letting go of prejudice in favor of appreciation.

Fulghum explores the concept of near-death experiences through anecdotes and philosophical reflection. He shares instances where he, along with a physician friend, observed or experienced moments that could be classified as near-death experiences. For example, the physician, having undergone a failed surgery, gained a newfound perspective on life, cherishing it more and fearing death less. Fulghum also recounts his own brushes with death, including a time when he narrowly missed a collision with a tanker truck due to a last-minute decision to clean his windshield. Through these stories, Fulghum reflects on the fragility of life, suggesting that life itself is a constant near-death experience because of its transient and precarious nature.