Allegedly

Ms. Cora comes to see Mary and tells her she must tell her the truth about what happened to her little brother Junior. Mary doesn’t understand why; the autopsy had shown he died from SIDS. Ms. Cora tells Mary that her mother is saying Mary might’ve had something to do with Junior’s death. Mary says, “I didn’t kill Junior. He died in his sleep. I found him. That’s all” (361). For the first time, Mary sees doubt in Ms. Cora’s face. 

Mary recounts how Ray, the father of Junior and her abuser, had another family. The narrative is broken by the transcript of Carmen Vaquero’s deposition. Carmen, Ray’s wife, had looked the other way on his affairs, but when he hadn’t come home for a week, Carmen knew Momma had killed him. She remembers Momma standing at Carmen’s door, accusing “Ramon” of trying to sleep with Mary. Carmen does not believe Momma and knows Momma killed Ray. She can’t prove it though; the hospital had listed his cause of death as a stroke and cremated him. 

Momma comes to visit Mary and is overly nice. She claims she is Mary’s momma, and that it’s not Mary’s fault that Mary has the devil inside her. Mary asks Momma how she could say she killed Junior. Momma denies it and says she’s tired of Mary’s nonsense “after all she’s done for [her]” (364). The two argue about whether the system has gone easy on Mary. It has not, but Mary knows her experience is light in relation to what would have happened to Momma. Momma asks Mary, “And what’s all this stuff about witchcraft or something? You know I don’t do that type of stuff. Why you tell them that?” (365). Mary says nothing because it is evident that she’s lied. Mary confesses Momma had told her to get her pills for herself, to calm her down, but it was Mary who insisted on giving them to Alyssa, going on the premise that if they worked for her, they would work for Alyssa, who would not stop crying. 

Mary and Momma argue back and forth, upping the ante each time either of them speaks. Mary pleads with Momma to tell the truth, and when Momma is ready to walk out, Mary says she has the cross that Momma had stuffed down Alyssa’s throat to dislodge the pills. Mary has kept the cross and had known well enough at the time of Alyssa’s death not to touch it, a strategy Mary had learned watching Law and Order. 

Momma wants the cross back because it had belonged to her mother, but Mary says no and laughs. If Momma will take the blame for killing Alyssa, Mary will return the cross. Momma says she took care of Mary and is indignant at Mary’s ingratitude. Mary tells Momma she didn’t care for her; “‘Not like Mrs. Richardson did.’ The mention of her name hits a nerve” (368). Momma responds that “it made no sense for [her] to take the blame for killing that bitch’s perfect fucking baby” (369). Both Mary and her mother see the other as culpable; the reader can now see clearly that each played a part in Alyssa’s death. Mary had accepted blame because she’d taken on the role of parent. 

Mary, enraged, knows she has the ultimate power to hurt her mother. She can abandon her. Mary knows what she has always wanted and that is to hurt Momma the way Momma hurt her. She tells Momma she will never see her again, nor will she ever see Bean. Mary knows Momma has nothing without her, that Mary’s absence will be Momma’s ultimate punishment. She leaves her mother pleading, “‘But baby I’m your momma’ she says reeking of desperation […] She is right. She is my momma. My protector. My best friend. But I am somebody’s momma too” (371). Mary says goodbye and returns to her room.  

In Ms. Veronica’s therapy circle, Mary opens up about Alyssa and about her brother, implicating herself in Alyssa’s death but pointing to SIDS in Junior’s death. Mary had only been six. She cries, telling the group that the doctors had said it was no one’s fault; it just happened. She tells the girls, who are rapt, that Junior’s death had changed Momma and made her no longer able to care for herself. Mary knew if she didn’t take care of Momma no one would. Some of the girls have tears in their eyes. They are all sympathetic for Mary except for Marisol, who challenges her: “So you did a bid for your mami. Big deal” (376). Marisol points to all that Momma has done for Mary, including being the only parent who comes to visit their daughter in the home. Marisol chides Mary for wanting to send Momma to jail, asking her, “Don’t you love your mami?” (376). Marisol cannot conceive of having a mother who’d done as much for her as Momma had done for Mary, and she tells Mary she’d do “anything for [her] mami” (376). Marisol stares coldly at Mary, making it clear she knows Mary’s attempts to overturn her conviction, and place blame on Momma, are based on lies. Mary sits with Marisol’s comments and feels tremendous guilt, admitting to herself that no matter what Momma has done, Mary can’t hate her own mother. 

Mary tells Ms. Cora she wants to “drop the whole thing” because “nothing good will come of it” (378). Ms. Cora, flabbergasted, says that Mary is crazy, immediately realizing what she has just said, she apologizes. Mary does not take offense, though, and thinks to herself, “I am crazy. I let a baby die and lied about it” (378).  

With a tone of confession, Mary reveals the actual events of the night to the best of her memory. She admits to suffering from blackouts; what she remembers of the night is limited but enough. 

Winters arrives to take Mary to her new group home in upstate New York. He, like many others, no longer believes Mary killed Alyssa “because that’s what happens when you’re a good liar” (384). Mary leaves Ms. Stein’s home without saying goodbye, though she stares at the home for a long time. On the way out, Mary admits to the reader that she’d poured bleach into Ms. Stein’s coffee. In the car on the way to her new residence, Winters tells Mary they’re going to stop by the precinct so they can take a DNA sample and run it through to match it against missing children in the data base—implying that perhaps Momma had kidnapped Mary. Mary says it doesn’t matter anymore. 

Winters tells Mary he has spoken to Mrs. Richardson who “said she’s going to write a letter on [Mary’s] behalf […] for the baby” (386). Mary is elated: 

Mrs. Richardson. She still loves me, I knew she did! Yeah, I may never see Ted again, but I would trade the love of a thousand Teds for one Mrs. Richardson. Funny how things don’t always work out the way you want them to, but so long as you get what you want in the end, the other things don’t seem all that bad (386).