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76 pages 2 hours read

Allegedly

Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2017

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Themes

The Parent-Child Relationship

When Mary was a baby and young child, Momma doted on her. Mary remembers her mother’s love, but she also remembers Momma’s breaks from reality, usually accompanied by odd, abusive behavior. Through repeated exposure to Momma’s mental illness, Mary unknowingly comes to embrace the role of caretaker, both for herself and for her mother. 

In addition to the physical abuse Momma inflicted upon Mary, Momma denied that Ray had molested Mary. Momma beat and drugged Mary at the behest of Ray. This betrayal sent Mary the message that Momma would no longer care for or protect her. If Mary was to stay safe, she would have to protect herself. The role reversal occurred so early, Mary didn’t know any better; she simply responded to her mother’s needs, putting her own safety behind her responsibilities to her mother. 

Momma had heaped untold piles of obligation on a young child and threatened acts that felt like abandonment if Mary did not comply. The manipulation helped ingrain in Mary the belief that her mother was her responsibility, and it is this premise—the child who believes she is responsible for her parent—that, according to Mary, kept her from giving authorities her side of the story. 

There is only one thing that threatens to undermine Mary’s misguided loyalty to Momma, and that is Mary’s love for her unborn child. Ultimately, Mary’s strong maternal instincts are not enough to break the cycle of the upside-down relationship she has with Momma. During a session with the “useless” Ms. Veronica, the girls discuss the topic of “freedom in forgiveness,” and Mary, for the first time, tells the group her entire story. The responses she gets from her roommates surprise her. Marisol does not understand why Mary would ruin her mother’s life by sending her to jail. From Marisol’s vantage point, Momma “kept you clean and safe. And she visits you. None of these other puta’s mamis come visit them!” (377). There is silence and Ms. Veronica does not interfere. 

Marisol asks again, “Do you hate your mami? (377). The guilt “burns through [Mary]. [She wants] to hate Momma […] but [she] can’t” (377). Afterward, Mary stops pursuing the appeal to keep her baby. On the surface it would seem Marisol’s point carries an inordinate amount of weight, but her words simply activate something that is already inside Mary. Her sense of obligation to her mother, having been so insidiously ingrained and then held up to the circumstances of others, surpasses in strength Mary’s own maternal instincts and leaves her resigned to repeating the cycle. 

The Effects of Mental Illness on the Family Unit

Jackson’s narrative and excerpts from various fictional experts describe Momma as narcissistic and manipulative. Craig Fulton, the fictitious author of the fictitious book, Identifying the Real Killer, describes “compensatory narcissism” as the condition when a deeply insecure person creates: 

a grand self-image in an attempt to compensate for what is lacking internally. They present this façade to the world in order to hide the emptiness they feel, thus falling in love with the idea of themselves. But, if you threaten their self-image—threaten to expose the thing they love most, themselves—they will react, often in a hostile manner (139). 

Fulton’s excerpt follows the scene in which Mary tells Momma they need to address the issues of Ray and Alyssa, a conversation that will “threaten to expose” Momma. Momma diverts, manipulating Mary by telling her something she knows Mary is dying to hear—that Mary has always had her father’s eyes. It’s especially cruel because Momma withholds Mary’s father’s identity and uses it as a tool when useful. 

Mary also oscillates between a state of reality and delusion. At the outset, Mary is a survivor who has lived a short but difficult life with Momma, as well as in jail and in the group home. Given Mary’s ability at a young age to survive sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, it is evident she’s developed a set of tools, whether consciously or subconsciously, to protect herself and enable her survival. The tools—cunning, lying, manipulation—which are not dissimilar to Momma’s, are a response to her mother’s mental state, which points to unpredictable, dangerous behavior and bouts of neglect and abuse. The confusing patterns and corresponding physiological and emotional responses elicited in Mary are what have shaped her understanding of the people and the world around her. Mary develops aberrations in her social-emotional development that dictate how she responds to the people around her. Mary’s premeditated attack on Kelly, her manipulation of those who have only done right by her, and her malice of forethought in not touching Momma’s cross when she buried it all signal the possible onset of mental illness. 

Like her mother, Mary’s view of the people and situations around her becomes distorted at an early age. Mary had always been desperate for the love of a mother figure like Mrs. Richardson, who had given Mary a view into what it would be like to have the “normal” mother that Mary wanted. Mrs. Richardson read to Mary, gave her gifts, and told her that she hoped to someday have a daughter like Mary; this was everything five-year-old Mary wanted and needed to hear. In Mary’s mind, having Mrs. Richardson adopt Bean would finally make them family.

The Longshot of Rehabilitation

Rehabilitating juvenile offenders requires the efforts of many people, across multiple agencies, who have presumably entered this line of work intent on making a difference in the lives of young people in the child welfare and juvenile criminal justice systems. The author’s depictions of neglect, incompetence, abuse, and lack of accountability point to a system near incapable of supporting a straight path to healthy, post-system lives for juvenile offenders. Very few of the characters whose job it is to improve the lives of juvenile offenders take ownership for their actions—they ignore their responsibilities or pass blame to others. From Ms. Stein and Ms. Reba, whose apathy is at best neglectful and at worst criminal, to the deceitful and often absent advocates to which Mary and the others are supposed to have access, the girls are shown as vulnerable, disrespected, and lacking the basic necessities for self-care. 

Before Mary enters the group home, several unnamed people in the child welfare and juvenile courts systems conspired to prevent her from receiving services that would’ve helped to rehabilitate her. Jackson depicts a system in which detectives, prosecutors, and guardians work against a young offender, as well as a post-prison environment that lacks intellectual opportunity or rigor. Jackson presents the female parolees as difficult and untrusting of anyone who is kind or who is there by choice, such as Ms. Veronica. The girls show her chronic disrespect, yet she is the one person who is intentional and present, there to talk through feelings and to guide the girls in making better decisions. 

These young women are all in the group home due to the absence or neglect of their parents. Now, they are in the care of people in the system who, rather than embrace the positive roles they could play, do the least amount possible to get by. Perhaps it’s from years of being disappointed and disrespected by their charges, or maybe it’s due to a systemic lack of accountability; either way, the novel shows it is the human component—the people charged with rehabilitation—that is the weakest link.

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