Bewilderment

On Monday morning, Robin insists that he has too much work to do, so he can’t go to school. Theo tries to reason with Robin but worries that he has been “outmaneuvered” (61). Robin remembers his mother saying that everything is dying, so he feels a need to help the animals. He asks Theo whether he believes Alyssa’s theory. Theo relents, causing Robin to worry that he might not be able to help at all.

Theo works from home while Robin paints. After dinner, Robin shows his finished pieces to his father, and Theo is impressed. The next day, however, he’s upset to learn that Robin wants to stay home again. When Theo refuses, Robin throws a tantrum and trashes his bedroom. He fights with Theo and tries to claw at his father’s face. When Theo unthinkingly bends Robin’s arm too far, Robin weeps in agony. Theo feels terrible, remembering that he once made a pact with Alyssa never to use violence.

Theo describes the imaginary planet of Geminus to Robin, a planet divided into a light half and a dark half. Each half has developed its own unique life forms. Theo feels as though circumstances have trapped him and Robin on different sides of the divide.

Theo remembers Alyssa and the many people who loved her. These people included former partners, many of whom were still on good terms with her. He used to be jealous when she spent so long on the road for her job, though he eventually accepted that—though many people wanted Alyssa—she only wanted him. Theo remembers when Alyssa encouraged him to take part in an experiment run by her friend, a neuroscientist named Martin Currier. Theo agreed.

Theo recalls taking part in Martin Currier’s experiment on the same university campus where he works. After completing a questionnaire, Theo underwent a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) procedure while Alyssa sat in the control booth with Currier. Currier showed Alyssa and Theo various stimuli and measured their emotional responses. When prompted to think of “admiration” (68), Theo cited Alyssa’s efforts at work and as a mother. When the next prompt was grief, those same memories transformed into something morbid and depressing.

After Theo exited the MRI machine, he switched places with Alyssa. Theo talked to Currier about the scientific rigor of the experiment but struggled to like the man who was friends with his wife. They watched the machine record Alyssa’s intense emotional reaction when asked to think about the ideas of vigilance and ecstasy. Currier was impressed with her results. Afterward, Alyssa and Theo returned home and had sex.

Theo visits Currier’s lab to ask him for help with Robin. Currier apologizes for missing Alyssa’s funeral service two years earlier and then listens to Theo’s account of the various diagnoses given to Robin. He empathizes with Theo and Robin, and he notices when Theo twists the truth on several occasions. Understanding Theo’s reluctance to force Robin to take psychoactive drugs, Currier suggests that he take part in a medical trial that is “testing DecNef’s efficacy as a behavioral intervention” (73). The trial hopes to train people to better control their own feelings. After deliberating about whether to enter Robin in the trial, Theo agrees to it.

Robin learns about the trial and is intrigued. He thinks it will be “like a video game” (75). When Robin shows off his latest paintings, Theo wonders whether painting might be the best therapy option.

Theo tells Dr. Lipman about Currier’s trial, and she seems satisfied. Excited by the prospect of the trial, Robin is quiet for two weeks. Theo catches up on his work. At Thanksgiving, he takes Robin to a meal with Alyssa’s extended family. Amid the political disagreements, Robin’s blunt attitude toward his mother’s death shocks his grandparents into silence. He finally explodes with anger when his grandpa tries to make him eat meat. Theo drives his son home.

The trail begins the following Monday. As Robin lies in the machine, he listens to Currier through a speaker. Currier tells Robin to try to control a dot on a screen using only his thoughts. The technique is something like meditation or mindfulness except that the moving dot on the screen provides instant visual feedback. Gradually, Robin begins to make the dot move as he wants. The next tests require that Robin change the dot’s size and color, and then the tests call for him to do everything at once. Robin is thrilled with his success, and the research assistants praise him.

In the next session, Currier recommends that Theo not be present as he might create a distraction. Afterward, Robin is delighted, and his friendliness with Currier shocks Theo. Although Theo finds some of Robin’s comments intriguing, his general demeanor has changed so much that it chills Theo.

Later, Theo and Robin stare up at the night sky. Theo tries to explain the impossibly massive size of the universe.

Theo notices a marked improvement in Robin’s demeanor. He even makes friends and can ignore bullies’ attempts to rile him. Robin continues with his painting when he returns home from school. While painting, he admits that he pities his bullies because they’re “trapped inside themselves” (81) while he has the guys inside his head for company.

At Christmas, Alyssa’s parents are wary of Robin and his explicit atheism. However, Robin’s newly warm demeanor wins them over.

Theo describes the invented planet Statis to Robin. Statis is like Earth, though a tilt in its axis means that each latitude has a unique and unchanging climate. As such, its inhabitants can inhabit only the specific place where they’re born.

The assistants at Currier’s trial tease Robin in a friendly way, but Robin responds well to their attention, which Theo finds shocking. Currier praises Robin’s successes in the trial, but Theo resents his overly affectionate reference to Alyssa.

Theo notices Robin changing on a weekly basis. He’s happy, and his angry outbursts are less frequent. When Theo asks Robin about the trial, Robin explains that the tasks are like playing a game against a smart person and learning more as a result. Theo probes the idea of Robin’s “guys” (84), the imaginary friends whom Robin credits with helping him. Robin tells him not to worry.

Robin wants to sell his animal paintings at the farmers’ market to raise funds for ecological causes, but he grows impatient that the farmers’ market won’t happen until spring. He insists on taking his pictures to school to try to sell them to his classmates. As Theo worried, the experience doesn’t go well. Robin resorts to selling his paintings to his bemused classmates for pocket change, but his teacher forces him to give everything back. Robin argues with his teacher and experiences renewed disillusionment with humanity. Theo struggles to disagree.

In early March, the President abuses his powers and arrests a journalist. Half the media finds his behavior appalling, while the other half praises him. By this point, “constitutional crises had become commonplace” (87). After two days, the outrage gives way to another distracting scandal. Nevertheless, the news reporting absorbs Theo while Robin paints. He watches as an autistic teen activist named Inga Alder inspires thousands of teens to cycle across Europe in a protest movement. Robin catches a glimpse of Inga and is intrigued. Theo thinks that his son has fallen in love.

Robin begins to ask for videos of Inga Alder, just as he used to ask for videos of his mother. Theo watches his son fall deeply in love with Inga. The first farmers’ market of the year arrives. Robin takes 136 paintings of endangered animals to sell at the market. Theo is astonished by his son’s skill as a salesperson. While some people may be impressed by the art, Theo suspects that many are “simply patronizing a child who’d spent months making things of little value on lots of misplaced hope” (89). Robin sells $1,000 worth of paintings and is delighted. At his request, Theo mails a check to the chosen conservation charity that evening. The charity writes to him after two weeks, thanking him for his efforts. They mention a deal in which rich patrons will match donations, encouraging him to send more money. The idea that rich people have the funds but will only donate when he donates perplexes Robin. He wants to launch a protest.

Robin wants to protest at the state Capitol building, a site that Theo always associates with Alyssa. She often testified there on behalf of animals’ rights organizations. When he sees Robin on the same steps, he feels as though he’s time travelling. Theo remembers Alyssa’s nightmares. She rarely revealed the contents of her horrific nightmares; she only asked that he hold her when she woke him up in the middle of the night. The night that she died, Alyssa took the car to deliver a speech at the Capitol. Theo never saw her again, “except to identify the body” (96).