Bruiser

The first time Brontë met Brewster, she was working as an assistant in the library. She spotted Brewster in the poetry section and assumed he was either doing an assignment or trying to impress a girl. Instead, she is shocked to discover that he reads Allen Ginsberg for pleasure. It is his “stray dog” personality which first attracts her to him.

As Brontë tries to joke with him and ask about his interest in Ginsberg, Brewster is defensive and short. However, as they begin to talk about poetry—noting that Brontë and her brother Tennyson are both named after British writers of the 19th century—Brewster lightens up. When she learns who he is, she thinks of how little she knows about him—how he “was always just there […] lingering in the background” (59).

For their second date, Brontë takes Brewster (whom she now calls “Brew”) on a picnic. She lies to her family so that Tennyson won’t find out and interrupt them. She is surprised to learn that Brew lies to his family, too.

They hike up above the town with plans of heading to the falls. She asks Brew about himself, and he is hesitant, but then tells her that he has a photographic memory. He recites Ginsberg’s “Howl” from memory.

As they are walking, Brontë twists her ankle. She is angry at the thought of missing a swimming meet and is sure that the ankle is sprained. However, after Brew massages her foot, the pain disappears. Brew then says that they should stay there for their picnic because his shoes are bothering his feet, and she notices how he starts to limp but assumes he does so to make her feel better about her own injury.

They eat and talk and Brontë realizes that she thoroughly enjoys their time together. She thinks of how he is not actually a “stray” as she thought, but that instead, she may actually be the one who is “lost.” She also feels as though “somehow [they] had become linked. Entwined. It was out of the ordinary, and out of [her] control” (67).

Brontë decides to take Brew swimming on Sunday for their next date. He initially declines, saying he has to watch Cody, but Brontë insists that he bring Cody.

At the pool, Cody immediately dives in, but Brew is hesitant. Brontë convinces him to get in, but he refuses to take off his shirt. This makes Brontë think of what Tennyson said about Brew’s back, but she tries to push the idea away.

As Brontë tries to get him to move around the pool, Brew continues to refuse, until Cody tells her that Brew can’t swim. Brontë tries to push him to learn, then realizes that she is pushing Brew too far as he turns to leave. However, as he moves, she catches a glimpse of his back.

She coaxes Brew into taking off his shirt so that she can see, insisting that he can trust her. When she finally sees his back, she is shocked by the scars and bruising.

Brontë asks Brew what happened, insisting that he go to the police if someone is harming him. Brew is adamant that it isn’t Uncle Hoyt, and Cody confirms that Hoyt has never touched Brew—that Hoyt is, in fact, afraid of Brew.

As Brontë continues to push for more information, Brew claims that it is just a medical condition.

Brontë decides that she needs to talk to Tennyson about Brew. To her surprise, Tennyson tells her that she should keep seeing Brew if she cares about him. He admits that he never found a reason to hate Brew, and that he might need Brontë.

Tennyson then asks Brontë if she hurt her ankle recently when she was with Brew. She is surprised he knows about it and asks Tennyson for more information, but he says simply that he had a “hunch.”

Brontë explains how horses wear “blinders” during races so they can focus on the race and not be overwhelmed by everything in their peripheral vision. She thinks of how humans wear blinders, too, but they do not even realize that they have them on. Because of her own “blinders,” she does not realize what is happening to her family until it is too late.

That Friday night, Brontë cooks dinner for her family and invites Brew over. However, when her parents get home, her mom seems distant and her father barely speaks. Tennyson tries to get Brontë to call off the dinner, saying that something is wrong with their parents, but Brontë insists that they will just have to get over it.

When Brew arrives, Brontë serves dinner, but her mother immediately gets up from the table to wash dishes. Because she made a beef roast, Tennyson refuses to eat it—still thinking of disposing of the bull.

As her father refuses to eat and speaks very little, Brontë becomes more and more annoyed. It slowly dawns on her that something is truly wrong with their parents, as her father makes bitter comments about his wife’s “night classes.”

Finally, Brontë’s “blinders” come off as she realizes that her family is not okay.

Brontë thinks of the atomic bombs that were dropped on Japan. Once the bombs were dropped, the pilots had no choice but to sit and wait for them to fall and cause their devastation.

She compares Tennyson to those pilots—as he already had some idea that there was something wrong with their parents and all he could do was wait for it. She thinks of how she had no idea that it was coming and how maybe it was better to be oblivious.

Brontë’s father questions his wife about her Monday night class. Her mother admits that there is no Monday night class, which causes her father to begin to sob at the dinner table.

Suddenly, Brew jumps up from the table and quickly goes to the door. Brontë follows him. Once outside, he tells Brontë that he “can’t care about them” and “can’t care about [Brontë]” (96). Then he backs away from Brontë and tells her that he does not care about her, and that their relationship is over.

When Brontë returns inside, she looks at their ruined dinner then starts angrily washing dishes. However, she accidentally cuts herself, and Tennyson comes into the kitchen as she is bleeding.

He takes her to the bathroom to clean and bandage her hand. He admits to her that he knew that their mom has a boyfriend, as he had overheard her talking to him on the phone.

Brontë tells Tennyson that she “hates” Brewster for leaving so abruptly. She thinks of how she was there for him and tried to help him with his pain, but the minute she had an issue, he ran.

They remain in the bathroom, which Brontë thinks of as their safe space. Silently, they both contemplate the devastation that will follow their parents’ fight.

The following morning, Brontë’s mother is gone, and they are unsure when she is coming back. She finds that she is still extremely angry at Brew and wants him to feel all the pain that she felt the night before.

At school, when she comes face to face with Brew, she slaps him. He seems unperturbed, so she angrily shoves him, then realizes that she has blood on her hands. Assuming it is from her cut from the night before, she starts to apologize, before realizing that the blood is coming from Brew.

Brontë takes Brew to the nurse’s office, where the nurse cleans his wound and instructs them to wash their hands. As they are doing so, Brontë looks at her own hand and realizes that her cut is gone—and that the same cut in the same place is now on Brew’s hand.

Brontë realizes what is going on with Brew, that he somehow takes the wounds of others and transfers them to himself. He says that it does not happen with everyone, only the people he cares about. Brontë realizes that that is why he ran from dinner last night and also why he always keeps his distance from everyone. She compares him to a black hole—both how people avoid him, but also how his gravity pulls those around him in.

Before she realizes what she is doing, she starts kissing Brew. She tells him that she loves him. Although he does not say it back, she knows that the cut on his hand is evidence that he loves her, too.