Five Feet Apart

Will stayed up all night watching Stella’s YouTube videos. He watches the next video of an Earth Day fundraising event that features Stella’s dad and older sister Abby providing musical entertainment for the evening. In the video Abby invites Stella on stage, and they begin to sing. Will notes that Abby “is rocking this clear and strong and powerful voice, while Stella’s is breathy and soft, smooth in all the right ways” (51). Will observes how different Stella looks in these videos compared to the uptight state he witnessed her in yesterday.

Later that evening, as his mother and Dr. Hamid review his latest test results, Will watches the snow fall and recalls his short-lived journey to Sweden as part of a drug study. Will demonstrates a lack of regard for the doctor’s orders and argues with his mother, who has invested a lot of money to improve Will’s chances of survival. Will resentfully retorts, “What do you want? A thank-you for shoving me in another hospital, wasting more of my time?” (55). He shares his hope for total independence when he turns 18 in two weeks. Frustrated, his mother departs, and Will watches as she leaves her business card with Barb and attempts to bribe her with a $100 bill.

Distressed by his argument with his mother, Will escapes to the hospital’s roof, where he feels a release of tension. Will observes the town from this elevated distance and reminisces on the few carefree moments of his childhood. He soon observes Stella in her room. As they make eye contact, Will is surprised by a strong gust of wind, struggles to catch his breath, and begins to “stumble, freaked out, whipping [his] head around and trying to focus on the red exit door or the ground or anything” (61). He stares at his hands, “willing the black to clear away, the world to come back into view, knowing the open air over the edge of the roof is still barely an inch away” (61).

Stella hurries to the rooftop to save Will. She discovers him at a safe distance from the edge of the roof. As they argue over the Will’s resentment toward his enrollment in the drug trial, he inches closer to the edge of the building and implies his intention to jump. Distressed, Stella leaves the roof and removes the dollar bill Will placed to prevent the door’s alarm from going off. Will flees the roof at the sound of the alarm.

Stella attempts to unwind back in her hospital room by completing the remaining items on her task list. She strikes through tasks, “trying to get the feeling of calm that usually comes from finishing to-do list items, but it doesn’t come” (69). Stella struggles to focus as her thoughts return to Will. She realizes, “I don’t want him to die” (70).

The next day Will opens the door to his room and finds Stella there. Seeing Will without his AffloVest, which works to break up the mucus in his lungs, Stella confronts him “like she confirmed the answer to some great Sherlock Holmes mystery” (72) and demands to see Will’s medical regimen. After reviewing Will’s indecipherable regimen over which he has sketched, Stella storms off to the elevators. Will follows her. He finds himself in the NICU, where Stella watches one of the ward’s patients struggle to breathe. He joins Stella, who informs him, “She’s fighting for her life…She doesn’t know what’s ahead of her or why she’s fighting. It’s just…instinct, Will. Her instinct is to fight. To live” (75). Will ponders what caused him to lose this instinct for survival. Stella desperately asks Will to follow his regimen. He resists before demanding that, in exchange for him following through with his regimen, he wants to draw Stella. She resists before agreeing to his demands.

On the way back to his room, Will meets Poe. The two boys sit in their respective doorways and chat. Will shares his B. cepacia diagnosis and reflects on his mother’s paranoia regarding his health, which has increased in the eight months since his diagnosis. Will divulges to Poe that the B. cepacia colonized quickly and led to his removal from the lung transplant list. Poe shares how close he and Stella are. Will feels momentarily jealous before Poe clarifies that he is gay. Relieved, Will wonders if Stella really hates him.