Never Let Me Go

Kathy and Ruth drive to the recovery center where Tommy has been placed after a donation. The facility is one of Kathy’s least favorite and has been converted from a 1960s holiday camp. Tommy approaches their car immediately. Ruth panics and stays in the car, but Kathy gets out to greet Tommy. They embrace, and then Tommy turns his attention to Ruth. Kathy allows the two to have a moment of privacy.

They drive through the narrow lanes toward the marshes where the boat is abandoned. Tommy had previously planned to visit, but he had to abandon his trip when he experienced “a bit of bleeding” (131). The conversation feels a little forced and awkward. Kathy brings a halt to one of Ruth’s rambling anecdotes, and Tommy laughs. Ruth is stunned into silence, but Kathy’s heart performs “a little leap” at the sense of being so close to Tommy again (132). They find the place and then begin to walk. Kathy notices Ruth’s shortness of breath and Tommy’s limp.

They arrive at a barbed wire fence, and Ruth is hesitant. Kathy realizes how frail Ruth appears. Tommy seems to notice at the same time and they both begin to help their friend through a gap in the fence. As they walk further, Kathy realizes that the moment in the car struck her so much because Ruth had simply accepted defeat rather than fight back. She hugs Ruth and helps her along the path and worries that she has misjudged Ruth’s strength.

They find the boat in the midst of a wide, open marsh. Ruth declares that the boat is “beautiful,” and they speculate about how the boat came to be resting in the marshlands. They talk about Hailsham and their memories of school. They talk about friends who died earlier than expected; Chrissie completed after her second donation. Kathy has seen Rodney, too. Ruth reveals that she is convinced that the donors are not told everything by the carers. She levels this accusation at Kathy, and the flash of anger reminds Kathy of the “old Ruth.” The disagreement abates when Tommy talks through his brief experience as a carer and then his first two donations. He thinks he was a bad carer but a good donor. Ruth thinks she was a competent carer but shares Tommy’s relief at leaving the career behind to become a donor. Being a donor feels right, and they agree that it is what they are meant to be doing with their lives. They leave the boat and return to the car.

They talk more freely on the way home until Tommy and Ruth disagree over a roadside poster. Kathy agrees with Tommy that the poster is better than most others. She shows them another poster that echoes the office Ruth had always dreamed about. Ruth denies any memory of the office, but Kathy insists. Tommy and Kathy ask Ruth why she never even asked whether she might be able to work in an office if she believed herself to be “special.” Kathy instantly realizes that her comments were a mistake and prepares for Ruth to launch a furious counterattack. Instead, Ruth apologizes for her past behavior, for her lies, for cheating on Tommy, and for everything else. She would like Kathy’s forgiveness but does not expect it. The worst sin, Ruth says, is that she kept “you and Tommy apart” (138). She believes that they can correct her mistake by seeking a deferral together. Tommy is confused. Kathy begins to cry and insists that they are too late for a deferral. Ruth hands Tommy a piece of paper containing Madame’s address in case Kathy changes her mind. He accepts, and they return home without any further mention of what happened.

Later, Kathy realizes that the trip and the conversation have removed any lingering tension between her and Ruth. The time they spend together becomes warm, friendly, and nostalgic. They never talk about Ruth’s suggestion, and the discussion mutates into whether Kathy will become Tommy’s carer. Ruth’s second donation goes badly. Kathy visits Ruth as she lays dying in the hospital bed. Kathy promises to seek a deferral with Tommy, and Ruth seems as though she already knows. Ruth dies. 

Kathy becomes Tommy’s carer a year after the trip to the boat, just after his third donation. She visits often while he recovers well. They talk, or she reads to him. Occasionally they have sex, out of both pent-up passion and a desire to show to any potential deferral test that they are suitably in love. Kathy always senses a tinge of pity about the act and a regret that they “left it so late” (142). They start discussing Madame. Tommy continues to draw his imaginary animals. He is hesitant to show his work to Kathy; she is thrilled that he does so but still worries that they are attempting everything too late. Tommy heals, and the prospect of a fourth donation means that they have no time to waste. During a particularly busy week, Kathy notifies Tommy that she has checked the information given to them by Ruth. She saw Madame at the exact address. They make a plan to visit her.