88 pages • 2 hours read
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“Sharon’s not yet six—exactly five years and ten months. But whatever she does seems to have, at least to her, a kind of purpose.”
Patty longs to have a sense of purpose like Sharon does. For Sharon, purpose lies in everything, even in entertaining herself. Patty is more discriminating about purpose, and when she does find purpose, it often comes with great risks, as in harboring Anton. Patty’s parents adore her younger sister because she is so easy-going. Patty, who raises difficult questions about the world, is an inconvenience for her parents.
“For four days and four nights the two of them have been isolated in the store. The power is down, the oil pipes have burst, and there is no food and no water […] I feed them soup and sandwiches, and when they regain their strength, they tell me how much they love me—how much they have always loved me.”
Patty fantasizes about heroically saving her parents from being stuck in their store during a blizzard. She wants to be able to provide for her parents and thus feel a sense of purpose. Her desire to feed her parents not just food but love is reflected in the risks she must take to get soup and sandwiches to them in the storm. She wants her parents to love her, but she also wants her love for them to be accepted and fully consumed, as in this fantasy.
“‘I wish Patricia would be more particular,’ Mother said with sudden force. ‘Would you just look at that hair?’”
In the first encounter between Patty and her mother in the novel, her mother complains about the topic that she seems to care most about regarding her daughter: her unruly hair. Moreover, she speaks of Patty’s hair as if Patty were absent. This is typical of her mother’s approach to Patty—not as a full person but as a constellation of annoyances that must be tamed.
“My mother’s face was a vision of sensitivity, intelligence, and love. And so it had to be a big lie what they say about beauty only being skin deep. For if it weren’t really there why would it show?”
Patty tries to decipher why her mother does not seem to love her and concludes that she is not a good enough reader of her mother. Her mother possesses qualities that people value, such as beauty, which makes it harder for Patty to understand that her mother’s beauty is, in fact, superficial. As opposed to the end of the novel when she starts to listen to the whisper inside her telling her that she is a good person, in the beginning of the novel, she is still trying to read positive qualities into her mother because she thinks goodness lies in her parents, rather than in herself.
“‘Your mother!’ A deep crease appeared on one side of her mouth. ‘This is not for your mother to know!’”
Patty’s grandmother gives her $10 to buy books since the library in town is closed for the summer, despite being told by Patty that she is not supposed to accept any gifts from her grandparents. Unlike Patty’s mother, her grandmother is warm, constantly trying to feed Patty, and tuned in to what Patty desires, rather than to her own desires about what Patty should be. This circumvention of her mother signals to Patty that her grandmother is critical of her own daughter and that she is supportive of Patty.
“But someday it would happen. I’d find her and she’d understand right away that Evol has more power spelled in reverse. And that would be the sign between us. She would be my real mother and now at last I could go home.”
This passage reflects The Desire for Parental Love. Patty fantasizes about having a horse named Evol who takes her away into the Ozarks, where her Christian peers go for Baptist summer camp. In this fantasy, she is mobile and able to go where she pleases. More importantly, she finds her long-lost mother by way of her mother’s deciphering of Evol’s name into “Love.” In solving the mystery of Evol’s name, her mother would demonstrate her ability to read Patty better than anyone else, which is all Patty wants.
“Saturday has always been my favorite day because my father hires extra salesladies, and he never says a word when I pitch in to help. Working makes me feel useful for a change, and I get to talk to an awful lot of people.”
Saturday is a respite for Patty not because it is a day off, but because she finally can work and have purpose; on this one day she can meaningfully contribute to her parents’ store without getting in trouble. This purposefulness is only possible, however, because she is able to work alongside her parents without their attention. Finding purpose with her parents requires that Patty become invisible, almost non-existent in their eyes, signifying the emotional abuse Patty suffers.
“I drifted into myself. Imprison me and disfigure me, but my thoughts are all my own.”
Patty tries to comfort herself with these words as she endures the process of perming. She feels imprisoned under the heated dome of the perm, and she also feels imprisoned more generally in her town and in her parents’ house. The internal retreat and escape from the adults in her life who abuse their power over her is her only “home” here.
“I watched the late afternoon sun play with rectangles of light against the blue walls of the hideout. The two rooms and bath had undergone a real clean-up, fix-up. And with the single exception of Ruth’s dyeing that worn chenille bedspread a cherry red, I had done it all myself.”
Patty’s hideout is one of the few places she feels safe, and she admires her productivity in the creation of a place that functions like a home for her. She feels content because she has channeled her desire for security into the creation of security: This is one of the only times in which she is able to actualize her desires. She is calm, secure, and happy.
“I turned to the inside pages in search of ‘Li’l Abner’ while consoling myself that after darkness came Anton had probably hitched a ride on a freight train.”
After reading in the Commercial Appeal that spies will be met with death, Patty is hit with the seriousness of harboring Anton. While her initial response is deflection (turning to the comics) and wishful thinking (Anton would have left already), she later faces these risks directly because she does not believe that Anton is someone who should be locked up.
“I looked into her face deep below the surface of her eyes where the wisdom is stored. There are answers there all right. Good sturdy answers fashioned by Ruth to fit Ruth. Nothing there in my size.”
Aside from Anton and, to a lesser extent, her grandmother, Ruth is the only person Patty trusts and who Patty believes to be wise. Patty deeply admires Ruth, but she also understands that Ruth’s wisdom is specific to Ruth’s beliefs and outlook on life. Patty needs to find wisdom that fits her own outlook, which she does later in the novel, with help from Ruth and Anton.
“It was only that he seemed like a decent man.”
One of the doctors in the POW camp offers this description of Anton after he escapes from the camp. The doctor’s assessment of Anton matches Patty’s, and she is relieved knowing that her intuition that Anton is a good person is validated by this authority figure. As she heads back to Jenkinsville, she experiences the immense joy because she is right about something that is important to her: She can trust herself and Anton.
“When Sunday finally arrived I felt the way I used to feel about Christmas. I knew that he would be pleased with my gift. My imagination had played the scene over so many times. He’d say it was the finest shirt he’d ever owned. And then the focus would shift from gift to giver and I would rest there in his arms like a long-lost daughter come home.”
Patty’s memories of Christmas are not of receiving gifts but of giving ones that are appreciated. This is one of many fantasies Patty has about her love being received by her parents and, in response, their offering their love to her. Instead, her parents’ rejection makes her feel homelessness.
“She gave my arm a couple of short pats before finding my eyes. ‘That man come a-rushing out from the safety of his hiding ‘cause he couldn’t stand your pain and anguish no better’n me. That man listens to the love in his heart. Like the Bible tells us, when a man will lay down his life for a friend, well, there ain’t no greater love in this here world than that.”
Ruth asserts that Anton is not only decent, but that he risked his life because he loves Patty. Ruth applies her Biblical knowledge to help Patty understand the reality that is unfolding in front of her. Unlike the division created by the Baptist Bible camp that Patty is not allowed to attend because she is Jewish, Ruth uses her Christianity to help Patty understand her world, strengthening bonds of love between them and also between Patty and Anton.
“‘I guess I don’t too much. No, I don’t like him.’ That was the first time I had ever thought anything like that myself.”
Patty admits her true feelings for her father after Anton asserts that the difference between her father and Hitler may come down to power. While Anton’s statement is provocative, Patty’s revision of her own thinking in front of Anton demonstrates her trust in him and the painful but necessary growth that is occurring in response to his honesty.
“The breakfast room was filled with lazy warmth, and I wondered if there was any better place to be than here. Here with my two favorite people getting to know each other.”
This is the only time that Patty’s parents’ house feels like a home; everything feels comfortable and easy. Patty is overwhelmed by Ruth and Anton’s conversation, and this is one of the only times she sits back and simply enjoys being in the presence of others, joyfully aware of their lives converging in this moment.
“Funny, but with just a little information from me my father could achieve an instant acceptance in this town. The kind that he has wanted all his life.”
Patty realizes that she holds information about Anton that is highly valuable to her father. This information provides her with the purpose she has been longing for: She can make herself valuable in her father’s eyes by giving what he wants most. Her sense of purpose, however, has shifted away from her parents and toward those she respects, and she ultimately rejects her fantasy after realizing her father is not someone she likes.
“Even if you forget everything else I want you to remember that you are a person of value, and you have a friend who loved you enough to give you his most valued possession.”
Anton’s final words to Patty express the love that he wants her to feel for herself and also the love that exists between them as friends. The monetary value of the ring he gives her is secondary to its emotional and symbolic worth.
“Time passed. I stood rigid and unmoving, wanting nothing new to happen to me. New time was nothing except a way to determine how long he had been gone. From under the weight of my foot I felt a chinaberry being pushed into the damp ground. My finger passed over the indented crest of the gold ring.”
Patty is miserable after Anton leaves. She feels the physical world around her intensely, but she also feels detached due to her sense of loss. A world that continues on, as if his departure means nothing, is incomprehensible to her, so she tries to make the world stop, all the while knowing that it will not.
“It tells one of them same stories the Bible do, love thy neighbor.”
Patty tells Ruth that Anton’s ring is “like [her] Bible” (175), but Ruth does not criticize Patty for what could be considered blasphemy. She understands that Patty is trying to say that the ring is her guide in life, as the Bible is Ruth’s guide. Ruth agrees with Patty that the ring is like a Bible, and she respects the importance the ring holds for Patty.
“‘Lord knows I need this job, Mr. Bergen. Lord knows I needs the money, but—’ Ruth’s arm tightened around me. ‘This child needs me even more than I needs the work. Truth is she does.’”
Ruth stands up to protect Patty, knowing that she will probably be fired. Her protection of Patty is similar to Anton’s when he rushes out of his hiding spot after seeing Patty being beaten by her father. Both Anton and Ruth try to intervene, but neither is successful in stopping Patty’s father. They both, however, show their love for Patty in their actions, and Ruth enacts the Biblical story that she says the ring tells, loving Patty as herself.
“‘Young lady, you have embarrassed Jews everywhere. Because your loyalty is questionable, then every Jew’s loyalty is in question.’ He sighed before adding, ‘I just wanted you to know.’”
The only time that her lawyer looks directly at Patty, he tells her of her betrayal of Jews. Though she has experienced isolation as a result of being Jewish in a Christian place, Jews now consciously isolate her. Her lawyer is disinterested in Anton’s hatred of Hitler or his love for Patty, telling her that this is all irrelevant. While Patty is repeatedly told of her betrayal—of Jews and also of the United States—she remains loyal to those she respects, never revealing Ruth’s involvement, for example.
“When I goes shoppin’ and I sees the label stamped, ‘Irregular’ or ‘Seconds,’ then I knows I won’t have to pay so much for it. But you’ve got yourself some irregular seconds folks, and you’ve been payin’ more’n top dollar for them. So jest don’t go a-wishing for what ain’t nevah gonna be.”
Ruth speaks as directly as she can to Patty about her parents: Patty has been emotionally bankrupting herself trying to secure love from people who are not worth it. Ruth wants Patty to understand, too, that no matter how much Patty tries to invest in her parents, that investment will never be acknowledged.
“Well, just the same, it didn’t sound like God. I think, actually, it was truth. Truth growing inside like a baby, and for a long time it was just too little, too weak to say anything. But day by day it gains strength.”
The metaphor of birth shows that Patty has achieved her coming of age, completing the Transformation from Alienation to Independence. Now, she trusts her own judgments about herself and the world rather than looking to her parents and others for acknowledgment.
“For moments or minutes I stood there. Not really moving. Barely managing to tread water. Was it possible for a beginning swimmer to make it to shore? It might take me my whole lifetime to find out.”
The greatest lesson Patty learns is to live on her own terms despite not knowing the outcome. Her decision to hide Anton did not lead to his successful escape, but Patty does not regret her actions. Similarly, even though she may make mistakes or fail in the future, she now has the strength to make her own choices.
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