60 pages • 2 hours read
The Love of My Life
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Character Analysis
Emma Merry Bigelow/Emily Ruth Peel
Emma is a protagonist of this novel. Emma was born Emily Ruth Peel to a parish priest and his wife. Emma’s mother died a few days after her birth, sending her father into a depression that led him to join the military and have alcoholism. He died from heart failure related to his alcoholism when Emma was only a teenager, leaving her an orphan and dependent on her maternal grandmother until she entered university. As Emma reached adulthood, she found herself in a situation where she could make good friends for the first time. As a child, she and her father moved around so much that she couldn’t make friends that would last, so her experiences at university went deeper than just gaining an education.
Emma struggles with relationships because she lost her parents at a young age. She finds good friends and holds on to one in particular, Jill, even after she leaves university due to the birth of her first child, Charlie. But when she meets Leo, she holds on too tight and worries that telling him the truth about her past will make him view her differently. She doesn’t want to lose him because of her experience with postpartum psychosis and her choice to give up her child. However, she doesn’t see that lying to Leo only leads to him learning the truth and losing trust in her. He also questions every important moment in their life together because her lies overshadow them.
Emma is a product of her experiences, creating a filter through which she sees the world. Emma constantly worries that Ruby will stop breathing based on the accusation that she tried to smother her son, Charlie. Emma lies to Leo because she doesn’t want to be left alone as she was when her parents died. And Emma gives up her child because she remembers her father’s impressions of a young woman who struggled on her own with a newborn baby. As the novel progresses, however, it becomes clear that Emma has experienced a long list of tragedies, and each one made her into the strong, independent woman she is at the novel’s end.
Leo Philber
Leo is Emma’s husband and the second protagonist of the novel. Leo is a quiet, patient man who writes obituaries for a living. Leo doesn’t find his work sad but rather optimistic as he attempts to celebrate the lives of the people he writes about. This attitude toward his work reveals the kind, compassionate side of Leo. At the same time, Leo’s relationship with Emma is seen through the lens of her cancer diagnosis and recovery, showcasing his deep love for his wife.
Leo discovered he was adopted not long after he began dating Emma. This experience was traumatizing for Leo as he has always felt he didn’t belong in his family but didn’t know why. However, by keeping this information from him, Leo grew up feeling like an outsider. Keeping the truth from him also took from Leo the chance he might have had to meet his biological mother and know someone who was biologically related to him. This left Leo feeling alone in the world, shaping his relationship with his parents even years after his discovery.
Leo’s reaction to his adoption profoundly impacts Emma, especially from the lens of her own experience with adoption. This is why Emma chooses not to share with Leo the story of Charlie’s birth and his subsequent adoption. Jill underscores this information, encouraging Emma to keep the truth from him. The longer Emma keeps the information from Leo, the more she has to lie. In the end, Leo looks back on their relationship and recognizes lies she told about things as simple as what her name is and as complicated as her experience with her first pregnancy.
Despite Leo’s reaction to his adoption and his behavior toward a babysitter who lied about taking Ruby to the park, Leo’s capacity for forgiveness proves to be much greater than Emma always feared. When he sees his family threatened and experiences the idea that Ruby wasn’t his, he begins to see what he will be losing if he doesn’t find a way to forgive Emma. This shows growth in his character, but it also shows that the depth of love he feels for his wife is great enough to save their marriage, even with the revelation of all her lies.
Jeremy Rothschild
Jeremy is a minor character who acts as a go-between with Emma and Janice and provides a plot misdirection regarding Emma’s fidelity within her marriage. Jeremy is a radio personality who met Emma when she contacted him regarding her pregnancy. Jeremy appears to be Emma’s lover because she has a secret meeting with him, and when she begins her story about how she became pregnant, Emma doesn’t mention the father’s name but does use Jeremy’s name. However, it quickly becomes clear that Jeremy is not the baby’s father and never cheated on his wife, Janice. Instead, he was incredibly thoughtful and kind to Emma after his cousin got her pregnant. He offered her financial support before offering to adopt her baby.
At the novel’s beginning, it is revealed that Jeremy’s wife, Janice, has disappeared. Rumors quickly begin that Jeremy might have had something to do with her disappearance. However, as the novel continues, it’s apparent that Jeremy is deeply committed to his wife and their marriage. This seems to be undermined by Leo’s conviction that Jeremy is having an affair with Emma, but as more of Emma’s secrets are revealed, it is obvious that this was never even a thought for either Emma or Jeremy.
Jeremy is the catalyst that leads to Janice’s desire to adopt Charlie, as he was the first to suggest it. Jeremy brings Emma into Janice’s disappearance and tells Leo the truth about Emma’s past. Without Jeremy, Leo would not have learned the truth about Charlie. At the same time, Emma might not have met Charlie or learned that Janice lied about the smothering incident as he was the one who brought Charlie to Emma’s home. In this way, Jeremy plays several important roles in the novel despite remaining a minor character.
Janice Rothschild
Although Janice doesn’t appear in the novel except for a few minutes at the end, she is the antagonist. Janice adopts Charlie and raises him as her own. Before Charlie, Janice struggles with multiple miscarriages. She becomes convinced she will never have a child, but then she is allowed to adopt Charlie, and he becomes her child the moment she learns of his existence. She treats Emma with respect, but her concern for Emma’s pregnancy and the safety of her unborn baby causes Emma to change her mind about giving the baby up for adoption. However, Emma changes her mind again when Janice accuses her of attempting to smother Charlie.
Janice knows she lied about Emma’s attempt to smother Charlie, so she fears Emma will remember she didn’t try to smother Charlie and will fight to get him back. When Emma stalks the Rothschilds for a few months when Charlie is a year old, this feeds Janice’s fear, and she has her arrested. Janice knows that her actions have ruined Emma’s life, and she feels guilt for it, but she is so determined to keep Charlie that she ignores her guilt and continues to hurt Emma by getting her fired from her BBC job and calling the police when Emma accidentally runs into her in Northumberland.
Janice has allowed her guilt over lying about Emma’s actions to consume her. She writes about them in her diary, including her fear of Charlie learning the truth. However, it is through these diaries that Charlie learns the truth, causing Janice to disappear during a bout of depression. In the end, Janice’s fears and guilt drive her to attempt suicide at the novel’s end. Emma and Leo find Janice and save her, an ironic act since Emma is the source of Janice’s guilt and fear.
Charlie Rothschild
Charlie is Emma’s child with Jeremy’s cousin, David. Charlie is the personification of Emma’s secrets in her marriage to Leo because it is his birth and adoption that Emma has hidden from her husband. Despite being the center of all this tension, Charlie is mostly oblivious to it. However, when he stumbles on his mother’s diaries, he learns the truth of his birth and the events afterward that led to Janice accusing Emma of smothering him. Charlie believes these things are the catalyst for his mother’s disappearance. Janice feels guilt for lying about the smothering and allowing Emma to use it as an excuse to give Charlie up for adoption, and Charlie is overwhelmed with guilt when he realizes that his knowledge of these things led to Janice’s disappearance and attempted suicide.
When Emma meets Charlie as an adult, she is overwhelmed by his presence. She once wanted to keep her son and care for him but became convinced that she was incapable of keeping him safe. Despite this, she continually tries to steal peeks of him as he grows up during the first year or so of his life. She had to walk away to avoid Janice’s wrath and legal punishment and regain her focus on her future. She does this successfully with only a few bumps, but then Charlie seeks her out. It is an overwhelming moment for Emma, bringing her full circle with her eldest child.
Charlie doesn’t know Emma well, but he does understand she deserves to know the truth. Charlie is the vessel for this truth, making things right after nearly 20 years of hurt and trauma. While Charlie is not a major character, he is a pivotal character who acts as a catalyst for the novel’s climax.
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