The Silent Wife

Natasha calls Jodi, addressing her as “Mrs. Gilbert.” She tells Jodi that she and Todd are very sorry about what’s happened; she thanks Jodi for her kindness after Natasha’s mother died. Jodi interrupts and tells Natasha: “You do realize that this is going to end badly for you. And you can stop thinking of me as a mentor. I no longer wish you well, and there’s nothing we need to discuss” (155). Natasha reveals that she and Todd have rented an apartment. Jodi decides that Todd is to blame for this situation and should not have chosen such a naïve young girl to have an affair with. Jodi reflects that there have been times when she regretted not marrying Todd. She remembers one emotionally-stirring proposal and thinks that she wishes now she could recapture it and reconsider her decision.

On October 1, Todd wakes in his bed with Jodi, knowing that it will be his and Natasha’s first day in their new apartment in River North. Todd still isn’t sure that he wants to leave Jodi, but he does feel a sense of forward momentum. He goes with Jodi to walk the dog by the lake. She is silent, which Todd interprets as her knowing what he’s about to say. He apologizes, holds her, and cries. When she steps away, he realizes he was mistaken. When he tells her that he is moving out that day, they have a noisy public argument that seems to surprise them both. She tries to hit him, but he is able to hold her back. She tells him he has 10 minutes to get his things out of the apartment and that she doesn’t want to see him when she gets home.

Throughout the fall, Jodi struggles to maintain a semblance of her routine in Todd’s absence. Homemaking and caring for Todd added structure to Jodi’s days and nights. Without his presence, Jodi becomes depressed. She no longer takes pleasure in the things she used to, like the view from the balcony in the morning or wearing stylish clothing. She also knows that she is the subject of gossip and speculation in the building.

Dean continues to leave ranting messages on her voicemail that she does not want to deal with. She still enjoys seeing patients, liking the puzzles and challenges they bring to her. The days she has activity planned are the easiest. Jodi meets her friends for dinners out and talks about Todd and Natasha “with an air of detachment, sometimes laughing and toasting the power of youth” (171). For the most part, her friends do not push her to elaborate. The only friend who does is Alison. She insists that Jodi see a divorce lawyer to make sure that she gets her fair share of the assets. Jodi says she doesn’t think Todd would want to “deprive” her, but Alison is skeptical. At this juncture, Jodi still believes the relationship can be salvaged through her forgiveness and forbearance; she even imagines that it might be fun to have a child around.

Todd throws himself into his new life. He starts by shopping for more stylish, better-fitting clothes. He lets his hair grow out and stops shaving cleanly. He looks younger as a result, and is no longer mistaken for Natasha’s father. The couple spends every night together; Natasha even goes with Todd if he goes to a bar, but because she can’t drink, she usually drags him home early. They even get matching tattoos. Professionally, Todd feels energized and purposeful. He has a buyer for the apartment building, even if the moisture problems in the basement cut significantly into the profits. He thinks of himself as “creating promise for the future” and wants to tell everyone not to “allow anything or anyone to stop you from living your life” (175). Todd knows he will still have to deal with Jodi. At Natasha’s urging, he calls his lawyer, Harry LeGroot.

Todd and Harry meet for lunch. Harry is dismissive of Todd’s rationalizations for marrying Natasha, and warns him that Jodi will get half of his assets when they divorce. However, Harry’s mood changes when Todd reveals that he and Jodi never married, leaving him with no legal obligations to her. Harry orders another drink to “celebrate” his client’s good fortune.

Jodi calls Todd, who is surprised to hear from her. She invites him over for dinner the next night. After they hang up, Jodi imagines all of the details of their renewed relationship, deciding that the separation has only solidified her love for him. As she euphorically goes through the motions of preparing for his visit, she reflects on her resilience, one of the qualities that Todd found appealing in her.

Although Jodi’s “buoyancy” had helped Todd emotionally, she was unable to help him through his depression or convince him to go to therapy. Jodi reflects that the Adlerian approach to psychology, which she both studied and participated in as a patient while in training, would have been useful for Todd as well. She thinks back to the work she did with Gerard Hartmann, who insisted that they continue her sessions even when she claimed there was nothing to discuss. Eventually, she told him about her dreams and her family. She described her relationship with her troubled younger brother, Ryan, who experienced violent outbursts and nightmares in his youth that only Jodi could soothe. As an adult, Ryan divides his time between Malaysia and Mexico, working what Jodi considers to be dead-end jobs. Despite their childhood closeness, they seldom speak and even more rarely see each other. While in analysis with Gerard, Jodi had recurring dreams about Ryan in which she is desperate to get to him but can’t get there.

Her older brother, Darrell, became a pharmacist like his father, but moved to Canada to work in a large hospital. He is six years older than Jodi. She has fond memories of him. In another section that is exclusively dialogue, Gerard questions Jodi about her brothers, and she reveals that Darrell was her parents’ favorite, Ryan was the rebel, and Jodi herself was just “the girl.” She is hurt that the close relationship she had with Ryan as kids did not continue into adulthood and supposes it may be because she bossed him around when they were little.

Driving his Porsche along the familiar route to his condo, Todd anticipates a wave of nostalgia that doesn’t come. However, he feels a “lordly sense of possession” (196) when he pulls into his parking spot, noting that he owns the adjacent spot and the car in it—Jodi’s Audi—as well. His sense of pride carries him upstairs, where he lets himself into the condo with his key. Everything is clean and elegant and beautiful, which he compares to the “squalor” of his home with Natasha. He offers to make drinks; this routine eases them past the awkwardness of hellos, but it soon becomes obvious that they are stiff with each other.

As they eat, Todd reflects on the comforts of his home with Jodi and her “tolerance and forbearance” of his affairs (198). He realizes that she has deliberately not dressed up or used the crystal and good silverware; she is, to his mind, asserting the everyday nature of their old life together, highlighting its easy comfort. He realizes that other men will be interested in her and begins questioning her about who she’s been seeing. He starts complimenting her, which makes her emotional. Feeling connected to her, he decides that he has been “rootless,” having “[woken] up one day in someone else’s life” (201). He tells her he loves her. They embrace. She collapses against him, and he carries her to bed, remembering “the peculiar slackness that overtakes her when she’s aroused” (204).